


Ooh Ha Ha

by o_rcrist



Series: Shark Bait [2]
Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-16
Updated: 2012-09-16
Packaged: 2017-11-14 08:46:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/513419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o_rcrist/pseuds/o_rcrist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The fuck is ‘ooh-ha-ha’,” Crixus asked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ooh Ha Ha

**Author's Note:**

> Whelp. I take no responsibility for my ridiculousness.

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING YOU MOTHERFUCKER?!” He cringed as Saxa jabbed a finger into his chest with each word.

“Dude! That-“ He was cut off by Saxa pinching his lips together.

“Shut. The. Hell. UP. I am nowhere near done with you yet dumb fuck. I repeat WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?”

He flicked his eyes to Nasir, who was standing next to Gannicus, Spartacus and Crixus. Duro was nowhere to be found. There was no sympathy coming from any of them though. Fuck.

“Do you have any idea how stupid you are? I’m going to find that fucking shark, and have him finish the god damn job he started! You fucking moron!” She smacked him over the head, removing her hand from his lips.

“Fuck! You know I’m not in pain or anything here you demon!”

He realized too late it was oh, so the wrong thing to say.

Her eyes were shooting daggers at him.“Pain? You don’t _know_ pain yet. When I’m finished with you, _then_ you’ll know what pain is.”

She smacked him over the head again, and he glanced over at the guys. Nasir shook his head, and nudged Ganniucs in the side. “Your girlfriend. You calm her ass down.”

Saxa turned on them, fuming. “I have no problem smacking you upside the head to.” Nasir gave her his best impression of Agron’s puppy dog face, and she glared at him, before turning her wrath back to Agron. She raised her hand again, and Gannicus stepped forward, grabbing her around the waist and lifting her up.

“I think you’ve made your point babe.” He carried her backward, and fell more than sat in the nearest chair, his arms locked around her, keeping her from getting loose.

She threw a glare over her shoulder at him, before looking back at Agron. “As soon as you’re better I am kicking your ass.”

He cringed. “I’ll write that down on my calendar.”

“Shut up shark bait.”

He gave her a glare of his own, before looking at the others. “Where’s Duro? Shouldn’t he be in here tearing me a new one to?”

Crixus snorted, and Spartacus gave him a dry look. Crixus only shrugged his shoulders, and flopped down in the chair next to Gannicus and Saxa, and received a swift kick to his leg from her. “Fucking A! The hell did I do?”

Spartacus pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. “Can’t you all behave for more than ten seconds?” He ignored the glares from them, and looked at Agron. “Duro was really shaken up Agron. Naevia and Mira are with him right now. He’ll come in when he’s ready.”

“I’ll tear you a new one though, since Duro’s not here to do it,” Crixus said cheerfully.

Nasir pursed his lips, “Crixus, I think he’s already gotten enough from me and Saxa today.”

Gannicus had let his hold loosen, and Saxa took the chance to jump out of his laps. “Oh I disagree Nasir.” She reached over to the table next to him, picking up a small clear container, and shoved it (literally) into his face. “Look what the fuck they pulled out of your damn leg! They severed one of your main arteries!” She paused, giving his eyes a moment to focus on the three shark teeth in the container.

“Those were in my leg?”

“No the shark came and dropped them off for us, said they were bothering him.” She smacked him over the head again, “Of course they were in your leg you fucker.”

He snatched the container out of her hand, and opened it, shaking the teeth out into his hand. They were small, maybe only an inch long or so, and a little shorter at the base of them. Nasir came over next to him, gingerly taking one out of his hand, and inspecting it. He grimaced as he ran his finger over the tip of it, his eyes briefly flicking to his injured leg. He covered Nasir’s hand with his own, and gently squeezed it. Nasir gave him a small smile, and nodded.

“Now do you get it through your thick skull?” Saxa demanded to know. “You’ve put us all through hell and back, all in a matter of hours.”

He looked at Saxa, and sighed heavily. “Yes I get it. Now will you give it a rest?”

“For now. Shark bait.”

“Will you stop calling me that?”

“No. Shark bait.”

“Ooh-ha-ha.” Everyone turned to gape at Gannicus, who was wearing his typical shit-eating grin.

Nasir burst out laughing, Crixus looked confused, Spartacus put his face in his hands, and Saxa jumped into Gannicus’s lap, planting a big wet kiss on his lips.

Agron crossed his arms, “The fuck is with you people and ‘Nemo’ references today?”

Gannicus’s lips were otherwise occupied, and Nasir only laughed harder.

“The fuck is ‘ooh-ha-ha’,” Crixus asked.

Nasir smashed his face into the bed sheets, he was laughing so hard he wasn’t even making a noise. Agron rolled his eyes in a huff.

Spartacus shook his head. “It’s a movie, Crixus. The fish is called Nemo, and at some point they give him the nick name ‘shark bait’. After that, they made it a thing to say ‘ooh-ha-ha’ after it.”

Crixus still looked confused. Nasir looked up, wiping tears away from his eyes, “Just watch the damn movie Crixus. I know you have it, because Emma makes us watch it with her every time we babysit for you.”

“Fine. So who else made a ‘Nemo’ reference?”

Agron snorted, and looked jerked his head at his boyfriend. “He did. He said that my family is about as threatening as Nemo.”

Their was a sucking sound, as Saxa pulled her lips away from Gannicus. He gripped her ass, holding her close, while she glared daggers at Nasir now. “Nemo? You think I’m as threatening as a fucking _fish_?”

Agron gave Nasir a smug look, who was holding up his hands in surrender. “I never said you were as threatening as a fish. I said that _after_ a shark attack, you were about as threatening as Nemo. There’s a difference.”

Gannicus started kissing her neck, whispering, “Let it go babe. I think you’ve torn them enough new ones for the day.”

She glared at them both. “Fine. You win this one.” She focused on Agron, and grinned.

“Don’t even.”

She grinned devilishly, “Shark bait.”

"Ooh-ha-ha!" He hated them all.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
